For example: When you are physically ill, your mind tends to be unhappy as well because you’re not enjoying the physical symptoms such as headache, fever, etc. The reason your mind is unhappy is because you are judging the illness. As the result of judging, which in this case is “dislike,” the ego mind generates the feeling of dissatisfaction.

However, you can change your negative reaction by observing the mind and noticing how it complains. The moment you recognize that the mind is complaining, the complaint will stop because you’re not following the ego mind and the negative emotion that’s being generated. The complaint can only continue if you’re unaware of what the mind is doing. By being aware and be an impartial witness to your own experience, you create a space between you (the observer) and the object (the ego mind and its emotion). This allows you to step out from being judgmental which creates the fluctuation (the duality of pleasure and displeasure) in the mind. When you transcend the duality and are in a neutral state (not judging), the mind then becomes at peace with itself.

This may seem difficult to do at first. However, through the practice of meditation we become skillful at being aware of our lower consciousness (ego) and can let go of our negative reaction. Thus, we can become at peace with the illness and help ourselves heal faster.

This doesn’t mean we don’t go see a doctor when we get sick or stop taking care of ourselves. We always do what is necessary to keep us in good health and abstain from doing harm to the physical body and mind. Through the practice of being aware we become wiser in our decision making.

Overcome Your Fear
The ego mind is very afraid of death because it relies on the 5 senses to experience temporary pleasures. Without the body and the 5 senses, there’s nothing for the ego to control; thus, death is its biggest fear. The idea of losing control is detrimental to the ego because its whole existence is based on control.

So, how do we overcome this fear? We learn to be at peace with ourselves. Through the practice of being aware, we learn to let go of our attachment to the body. The body is temporary; however, we should take care of it as best we can while we’re living in it and not abuse it (eat healthy and exercise). Since we are being governed by the law of cause and effect, when we abuse the body (negative action), we get suffering.

So, who are we? We're consciousness (formless) residing in a temporary body (form). We come into this physical world (form) so we can learn to advance our consciousness by interacting with each other. Ultimately, the goal is to shift from lower to higher consciousness. Our higher consciousness can be accessed through being aware, insight, wisdom, kindness, compassion, selflessness, silence and inner peace.

When we practice meditation, we become aware that we are not our thoughts. Thoughts are products of lower consciousness (ego). We don't try to suppress our thoughts or emotions but simply witness them without judging. By being in a neutral state, we're able to free ourselves from negative emotions. We begin to shift our consciousness to a higher state where we gain insight & wisdom and experience inner peace, harmony, true happiness and freedom. We forgo the ego and become our true selves.

The “Holding On” Business
The ego mind has the tendency to hold on to the painful experiences from the past. It has a difficult time of letting go. It keeps reliving these painful experiences over and over. The reason that it does is because it feels violated. The ego mind has the need to be right and to be in control at all times. It wants to be vindicated so it keeps holding on to the painful feeling, hoping that you would do something about it.

Some people deal with this emotion negatively by hurting others or hurting themselves. This, however, doesn’t solve anything.

The best way to deal with the ego is through “letting go.” Stop playing the painful experiences over and over in the mind. We learn to stop through meditation by focusing on the present. We learn to appreciate what we have (gratitude) instead of focusing on what’s missing in life. We forgive those people whom we “hold” responsible for our pain. We also forgive ourselves. The past we cannot change and the future is only a projection. The only thing that truly exists is NOW – this present moment.

When we realize this, we enter higher consciousness (wisdom). If we keep thinking of the past and wishing to change it or keep projecting of how the future should be then we are stuck in the ego mode. When the ego takes control, we just become slave to its thoughts and emotions. However, we have a choice and can be free from the mental pain at anytime. By being aware and witnessing our own thoughts without judging them, we can let go of the pain and be at peace with ourselves. We can lay down the burden that we’ve been carrying around all these years.

Addictions
Since the ego mind is always unhappy and seeking pleasures, it’s easy for it to become an addict. The ego mind is ignorant so it doesn’t care about the negative consequences as long as it gets its pleasure. Why does it seek pleasure all the time? Because it’s stuck in a state of dissatisfaction (tension) so it has to look for some kind of relief.

In reality when you become an addict, you’re abusing your body for temporary pleasure. You’re being punished by the ego. But because you don’t have the awareness, you just do what ever the ego dictates. If you don’t follow its demand, the ego will generate pain or fear. Since you can’t stand pain or fear, you become very obedient to it. This is mental slavery. This is how the ego keeps you under its control.

So, how do we overcome addictions such as alcohol, drug, smoking, overeating or sex? We learn to stop the self-punishment. Of course, the ego will generate a lot of pain when you try to stop the addiction because you’re defying it and not following its order. When this happens, you must face the ego and learn to overcome the pain or withdrawal.

Use the meditation technique that you've learned and go inward into silence and into the present moment. Watch the pain or craving without reacting to it (be an observer of your own mind). Because when you react to it (fighting with the mind), you're feeding the ego so the pain or craving will get stronger. But when there's no reaction and you just simply observe and be in the present moment (while relaxing the mind and body), the ego can't do anything to you so it gets weaker. The craving eventually gets smaller and smaller and finally disappears because you're not feeding into its desire. The mind then becomes at peace with itself.

Caution: Sometimes, the mind fools itself by substituting addictions. Some people who try to quit alcohol might stop drinking but then they substitute it with another addiction in its place. This doesn’t help the situation so we need to be careful and watch our thoughts and actions and make sure we’re not harming ourselves in different ways. If you want to substitute, make sure it’s a healthy habit -- something beneficial.

Perfection
The ego likes the idea of perfection because it gives it a sense of control. However, if we go through life trying to be perfect or wanting things to be perfect all the time, life becomes very difficult because it’s a struggling act. You set yourself up to fail because you can’t be satisfied with the result unless it meets the image of perfection.

We have the ideas of perfect body, face, job, vacation, marriage, husband, wife, or life, etc. But these thoughts are delusional even if you attain the ideals. They are deceptive because everything changes so perfection cannot be maintained.

How do we overcome the idea of perfection? We let go. We always do our best and make the best effort in doing. However, we don’t judge the result. Be content with the outcome. We don’t compare it to the ideal. When we can stop ourselves from being critical, we can then enjoy the experience as is.

Mistake, Shame, Guilt
Since the ego wants to be in control all the time; it doesn’t like the idea of making mistakes. When you make a mistake, you feel you ought to be punished. This creates the feeling of guilt or shame. People who hold on to these feelings will experience much pain in their lives.

To overcome these negative feelings, we must learn how to let go. We must learn to forgive ourselves and forgive those we hold responsible for our pain. Through the practice of being aware, we learn to let go of our thoughts. When we are not attached to the thoughts, but simply are aware of them, they don't have the power to control you. You are the observer (awareness) and the thought is the object (the thing that's being observed). So, there is a seperation between you and the thought; therefore, you're not caught up in the fluctuation (feeling of pleasure, displeasure, thinking of the past or future). Here the mind enters a neutral state and experiences contentment & inner peace (highest form of happiness). When we're at peace with ourselves, the ego mind cannot manipulate us.

The best way of preventing shameful or guilty acts is to abstain from doing harm (mentally & physically) to ourselves and to others.

Greed
Greed is a strong characteristic of the ego. The ego is greedy because it’s always unsatisfied with itself. It makes you feel that you don’t have enough so it causes you to go for more. It makes you feel you’re not good enough so you’re always trying to achieve. However, when you actually attain it (money, sex, status, etc), the pleasure is short-lived.
Once a pleasure is had, the feeling disappears so the ego is back to being unhappy again. Whatever you attain, the ego eventually gets used to it and becomes bored. Thus, you have to keep acquiring new things to generate the feeling of pleasure and excitement so now you are stuck in the cycle of pursuing.

So, how do you stop yourself from being greedy? You need to check your motivation. Are you doing it because of selfishness or acting out of kindness and compassion? Before you want to attain anything, you need to ask yourself - "do I really need this?" Is what I’m getting necessary or beneficial or is it just for showing off or keeping up with the neighbors or my friends?" We need to be aware of our thoughts and actions. If we rely on the ego for answers, it will only tell us that we need more. So, we must rely on our higher consciousness (wisdom) to see if what we are doing is beneficial to all.

We can also overcome greed by serving others. Through donating our time or materials to help other people, we learn to be selfless. We act out of kindness and compassion which feed the pure mind. When the pure mind is operating, we’re free from the ego.

We must look at how we spend our time. Do we spend most of the time, just trying to get what we want (being selfish) or do we spend more time helping others?

Anger/Hatred
Anger is an intense negative emotion that causes immense stress. If we often get angry, the cumulative effects often lead to physical illnesses such as heart problem, high blood pressure, etc. What causes the ego mind to generate this emotion? It's because it has the need to be right. It's caught up in the idea of self and is totally convinced that its perception about itself, others and the world are correct. When something or someone comes along and disagrees with its belief system, this violates its sense of control, thus; it generates the feeling of anger. The need to control is the top priority for the ego. Its whole existence is based on control so it must fight anything that disturbs or undermines it. The ego is a dictator and the dictator will not tolerate anyone who disagrees with it.

So, how do we overcome anger? We forgive. Forgiving is the ability to let go. Anger is the fire and forgiving is the water. When we can forgive, the mind no longer holds the burden of the need to be right.

Through the practice of meditation, we develop awareness. When the anger or agitation arises, we can just observe it without reacting to it. When we can just watch the angry emotion without feeding it, it will eventually subside.

For example: When someone yells at you and you yell back, that's feeding the ego. Now you have a yelling match and it can escalate into a fight or even into killing each other.

The person who yells at you out of anger is looking for a reaction. If you don't react, it stops the ego. The reason that they yell is because they're suffering emotionally and they want you to suffer too. However, you don't need to accept their offer. You can choose how to react. Once you realize the person who's yelling is suffering, you can offer them kindness and compassion. Instead of fueling the fire by yelling back, you can pour water over the fire by being kind.

Fault Finding
The ego is a fault finding mind. It’s always looking for something or someone to blame when things go wrong and it’s full of excuses. This happens because it’s always judging so it finds fault with a person or object that’s being judged. This process gives the ego the sense of control when it has someone or something to blame.

So, how do we overcome the fault finding mind? We need to practice non-judging. All our lives, we have been judging everything that we see, hear, taste, touch and smell. It’s a habit so we must unlearn our bad habits. Through the practice of meditation, we train ourselves to be non-judgmental. We learn to let go. When something goes wrong, we don’t automatically look for someone or something to blame. Instead, we take a look at our mind – at the source where judging occurs. We forgive and accept the situation for what it is. When we play the blame game, everyone loses. When we can let go and forgive, we can then move on and free ourselves from stress.

Getting Offended
If you often find yourself being offended by someone’s view or comment then you’re under the ego’s control. If you’re looking to be offended, you will not be disappointed because it’s very easy to do since there’re so many different points of view.

So, how do we stop ourselves from being offended? We allow other people to have their views and opinions. We don’t judge. If you want to get to the truth then go inward into your own mind and ask yourself – “why do I believe what I believe,” instead of arguing with other people or try to change their views. When you question yourself then you go directly to the source, which is your own mind, the one who creates the thought and emotion of being offended. Watch the mind and the emotion. When you can observe without reacting to it, the negative thought and emotion will fade and disappear. The ego cannot control you if you don’t feed it.

Conflicts & Arguments
Conflicts and arguments happen because we have clashes of perceptions. Since we all view things differently, we often find ourselves disagreeing with each other. When either side insists on being right, the argument can escalate into violence or even into war between nations. You hurt my people so now we must hurt you. Of course, in our mind this is justified. We always believe our view or our way of thinking is correct and the opposite view is wrong. So, we are stuck in the cycle of conflicts, arguments and violence.

Why can’t we stop ourselves from doing harm to each other?

We can’t stop because we lack higher awareness. We are not a logical being; instead, we are an emotional being. We act according to how we feel. Instinctively, we know doing harm is wrong, but in the heat of argument with the feeling of anger, we are willing to do harm and violence to protect our sense of self, our righteousness or our point of view (perception). Why are we so willing? Because we are being controlled by the ego and the ego always tells us what to do, what to think and what to feel. We follow the ego mindlessly so we continue to be its slave.

However, we can liberate ourselves from the ego by shifting to higher awareness. When we are aware of our own thoughts and actions at all times, we can never get into arguments or conflicts. There’s always a reminder that warns you that you’re becoming angry. When you hear the warning, you can take a look at your own mind. When you can watch your own anger, it will cease.

Where does this awareness or reminder come from? It comes from the practice of meditation. When we meditate, we train ourselves to become aware of our own thoughts and letting go of the thoughts. Meditation is a skill. The more you practice, the better you become at calming your own mind. When the mind is still, there’s contentment, which is the highest form of happiness. When you’re content, you have no desire to get into an argument or conflict. Only unhappy people argue.

Love/Relationship
Romantic love or romantic relationship doesn’t work when it’s based on selfishness (control). I love you as long as you’re mine. Your partner becomes your possession. It’s conditional love based on pleasing each other. This works for a little while when you first fall in love. However, it doesn’t last because over a period of time you begin to get used to each other. When you no longer please each other, the love or pleasure disappears. Now you have a breakup or a divorce.

To make a loving relationship last, we must practice true love. People speak of true love, but they don’t practice it. True love requires letting go. You don’t look at your partner as your possession. Life is temporary so you’re merely getting together for a brief time that you have on earth to practice kindness, compassion and forgiveness to each other. You abstain from doing harm (physically and mentally) to your partner and to yourself. When you and your partner consistently practice this in your relationship, you will then experience true love, happiness and freedom.

Thinking Vs Wisdom
When we think too much, we create our own stress and anxiety. It’s only when we become aware of our thoughts and let go of them that the mind begins to calm down.

Good ideas or wisdom arise when the mind is still (without fluctuation). It doesn’t come when the mind is cluttered or moving because while it’s in motion, it’s difficult for the mind to see the consequence of its thought and action. It’s like when you’re running very fast in a park, it’s hard for you to see your surroundings or take notice of them. When you stand still in one spot, you can clearly see the view of the park and all the different objects in it.

This too happens in the mind when we meditate. When the mind stands still, it starts to notice things that it never had. In stillness we begin to see reality as is instead of relying on our perception (likes & dislikes).

Perception is unreliable because it’s different for everyone. It’s only a relative truth (true to you but not to someone else). It’s not objective so the ego will go on believing or disbelieving as long as it feels comfortable or receives pleasure from it. Perception creates conflict because all of us have different views on different matters. When each one of us insists on being right, we end up crashing into each other (disagreement, conflict, violence). This conflict is never truly solved until perception is removed.

Removing perception sounds simple, but the ego mind resists with all its power and strength because it does not want to give up control. To overcome the ego, we need to learn to “let go”. Slowly, the mind begins to calm down through the practice of meditation and the stress begins to disappear from your life. It doesn’t mean you lose the ability to control or survive in your daily living. Actually, it enhances it because now you’re relying on insight and wisdom to make your decision instead of being told what to do by the ego, which makes its decision based on fear (survival instinct of fight or flight).

When the ego no longer controls you, the only thing that’s left is the pure mind (higher consciousness) – your true self. There is only contentment, joy, true happiness and freedom. There are no more anxieties, worries or cravings to lock you up. You become free and live a life of clarity. You can do or achieve anything with ease and your motivation comes from kindness and compassion. You can never be unhappy or unsatisfied. Every moment is full of awareness and inner peace. The immense happiness is beyond description. It’s something you need to experience directly for yourself.

We invite you to take Awareness Training Course on this website so that you can experience the natural state of mind (higher consciousness). All the answers are already within you. You just need to learn how to access it.

Through consistent practice of meditation which helps you to develop mindfulness (being aware of your thoughts), you will begin to see the truth for yourself. It doesn’t require a special mind or intelligence to do this. It does require self observation. The payoff, however, is more than worth it because you will be stress free for life.

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